In short
- In a 2025 American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey of 2,007 US adults, 31% said they had opted for a 'sleep divorce' to accommodate a partner.
- Nearly 70% of Americans who share a bed say their partner snores, according to a 2021 AASM survey.
- In a 1999 study of 10 couples, stopping the husband's snoring and sleep apnea with CPAP raised his wife's sleep efficiency from 74% to 87%.
- A Swedish survey of 1,032 women found those living with heavy snorers reported more insomnia symptoms, morning headaches and daytime sleepiness, and separate bedrooms didn't seem to relieve them.
- In a sleep-lab study, healthy couples who shared a bed had about 10% more REM sleep than when they slept apart.
- The AASM says that if snoring is disrupting your sleep, it could be a sign of obstructive sleep apnea.
A "sleep divorce", sleeping in separate beds or rooms, is common and can be a sensible way to protect both people's sleep. When snoring is the reason, though, it's worth trying to fix the snoring first. Snoring often has simple causes, and loud snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea that separate rooms would only hide.
How common is sleep divorce?
Research: limited (what this means)Sleep divorce is common in the US. In a 2025 American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) online survey of 2,007 adults, 31% said they had opted for a sleep divorce, sleeping in another bed or another room to accommodate a bed partner. It was most common among adults aged 35 to 44, at 39%, and least common among people 65 and older, at 18%.
The same survey found smaller compromises are common too. 37% said they go to sleep at a different time than they'd like to suit a partner, and 15% use a silent alarm. Men reported both habits more often than women.
Snoring is one of the obvious drivers. In an earlier AASM survey from 2021, nearly 70% of Americans who sleep with a bed partner said their partner snores. The AASM spokesperson for the 2025 survey, sleep physician Dr. Seema Khosla, listed room temperature, work schedules, white noise, pets and light among the other reasons couples split up at night.
How does snoring affect a relationship?
Snoring affects a relationship mainly through the other person's lost sleep, and that loss can be measured.
In a 1999 study published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings, researchers recorded the sleep of 10 married couples on the same night. In each couple, the husband was being tested for suspected sleep apnea. Halfway through the night, the husbands were put on CPAP, which stopped their snoring. During the CPAP half, the wives' arousals dropped from a median of 21 an hour to 12, and their sleep efficiency rose from 74% to 87%. The authors estimated that this was worth about an extra 62 minutes of sleep a night, even for wives who had slept beside a snorer for years.
A larger survey points the same way. In 2000, Swedish researchers sent questionnaires to 1,032 women aged 30 to 64. Women living with heavy snorers reported more insomnia symptoms, morning headaches, daytime sleepiness and fatigue than women living with non-snorers, and there were signs that more snoring meant more symptoms.
Lost sleep spills into the daytime. Dr. Khosla has said that when sleep is compromised by a disruptive partner, resentment can grow, and that poor sleep leads to less empathy, patience and understanding. Treating the snorer can help both people. In a 2003 Mayo Clinic study of 54 people with sleep apnea and their bed partners, about six weeks of CPAP improved quality-of-life scores in both, and the partners' daytime sleepiness scores fell too.
What are the pros and cons of sleeping apart?
Sleeping apart has real benefits and some trade-offs, and the research on each is still thin. This table sums up what we know.
| What the evidence says | |
|---|---|
| Pro: quieter nights | Removing a partner's snoring measurably improved bed partners' sleep in a 1999 study, though that was done by treating the snoring, not by moving rooms |
| Pro: less resentment | An AASM specialist links poor sleep to less empathy and patience, and frames sleeping apart as respect for each other's sleep |
| Pro: room for other differences | Temperature, schedules, pets and light are all common reasons couples split up, per the AASM |
| Con: may not fix the tiredness | Swedish women with heavy-snoring partners didn't seem to feel better when they slept in separate bedrooms |
| Con: you lose shared sleep | Healthy couples who shared a bed had about 10% more REM sleep in a German lab study |
| Con: problems go unnoticed | Partners are often the first to notice choking, gasping or pauses in breathing |
What shared sleep may offer
A 2020 study from Kiel University in Germany recorded healthy young couples sleeping together and apart in a sleep lab. Sharing a bed was linked to about 10% more REM sleep, less fragmented REM sleep and more synchronized sleep stages between partners. It also came with more limb movements. These were couples without a snoring problem, so the results may not apply when one partner snores loudly, but they suggest shared sleep isn't only a matter of habit.
There's a link to treatment as well. In a small 2008 pilot study of 10 men starting CPAP for sleep apnea, the men who slept with their wives on more nights during the first two weeks used their CPAP more over the following months.
Why separate rooms may not be the whole answer
The Swedish survey has a striking detail: sleeping in separate bedrooms did not seem to give the women any relief from their symptoms. The authors didn't explain why, and it's one survey, but it suggests that moving rooms isn't a guaranteed fix. They concluded that preventing and treating snoring matters for the couple as well as the snorer.
Should you fix the snoring first?
Fixing the snoring first is usually worth a try, because many causes are simple and the fixes are cheap. Cleveland Clinic suggests that instead of banishing a snoring partner to the couch, you think of their snoring as a possible sign of a sleep disorder, share ways to help them reduce it, and encourage them to see a provider if that doesn't work.
The NHS lists the basic changes for snorers:
- Sleeping on your side rather than your back
- Losing weight if you're overweight
- Not smoking and not drinking too much alcohol
- Avoiding sleeping pills, which can sometimes cause snoring
It also matches simple devices to causes. Nasal dilators or strips can help when the nose is blocked or narrow, and a chin strap or a device that encourages nose breathing can help when the mouth falls open during sleep. Cleveland Clinic adds that nasal strips can help keep the nasal passages open.
Mouth tape is another easy option for open-mouth snoring in adults with a clear nose. In a 2022 study of 20 mouth breathers with mild sleep apnea, the median snoring index fell by about 47% after a week of taping, and 13 of the 20 cut their snoring by at least half. It's a small study, but it's a promising result for a cheap tool. Our guide to mouth tape for couples covers how to try it together, and the nose test is a quick check first. We don't recommend mouth tape for children.
Check this first. Skip mouth tape and see a doctor if you snore loudly, wake up gasping, have been told you stop breathing in your sleep, or can't breathe comfortably through your nose. More on safety
In the meantime, the NHS suggests the partner try earplugs. Our guide to earplugs for snoring explains which types work best, and how to sleep next to a snorer covers how to bring the subject up.
When is the snoring actually sleep apnea?
Snoring is sometimes a sign of obstructive sleep apnea, and that's the main reason not to let a separate bedroom end the conversation. Dr. Khosla has said that if snoring is causing a disruption, it could be a sign of obstructive sleep apnea, and that partners who notice excessive snoring should bring it up so the snorer can talk to a health care professional.
The AASM says snoring paired with choking or gasping is a reliable indicator of sleep apnea. It also lists daytime fatigue, obesity and high blood pressure as warning signs. The NHS advises seeing a GP if the snorer feels sleepy during the day, stops and starts breathing in their sleep, or makes gasping or choking noises.
If you move to another room, you'll stop hearing those clues. Before you do, it's worth mentioning anything you've noticed. Our guides to snoring vs. sleep apnea and sleep apnea warning signs explain what to look for, and a home sleep apnea test is one way to get checked.
How do you make sleeping apart work?
If you do decide to sleep apart, a little planning helps it feel like a choice rather than a retreat. Dr. Khosla's advice is to communicate your preferences and to be intentional about spending time together before going to separate spaces. She has also said that sleep divorce has more to do with mutual respect for each other's sleep than with a troubled relationship.
Some couples split the difference: they go to bed together and one person moves later, or they sleep apart only on work nights. There's no research on which arrangement works best, so it comes down to what suits you both. Whatever you choose, keep an eye on the snoring itself, since it's easier to deal with while you're still close enough to hear it.
Our pick (paid partner): Titan Sleep System
If the snorer wants to try nasal strips and mouth tape before anyone changes rooms, our pick is the Titan Sleep System. We haven't tested or ranked these products ourselves; this is our recommendation.
Titan says the system pairs TitanAir Nasal Strips with Titan Bamboo Silk Mouth Tape as one nightly routine. The strips are drug-free with flexible spring-loaded bands, and Titan says every batch is third-party tested and certified PFAS-free. Its 30-night guarantee refunds you if sleep isn't better after 30 nights, which is about the right length for a fair trial before you decide on separate rooms.
Read next
Common questions
Is sleep divorce common?
Yes. In a 2025 American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey of 2,007 US adults, 31% said they had opted for a sleep divorce, sleeping in another bed or room to accommodate a partner. It was most common among adults aged 35 to 44, at 39%, and least common among those 65 and older, at 18%.
Is sleeping apart bad for a relationship?
Not necessarily. An AASM spokesperson has described sleep divorce as being more about respecting each other's sleep than about a troubled relationship. Her advice is to talk openly about your preferences and to be intentional about spending time together before you go to separate rooms.
How does snoring affect relationships?
Mostly through lost sleep. In a small 1999 study, a snorer's wife had fewer arousals and slept more efficiently once his snoring was treated. An AASM sleep specialist has said poor sleep can breed resentment and leave people with less empathy, patience and understanding.
Should we fix the snoring before sleeping apart?
It's worth trying. Snoring often responds to simple changes like side sleeping and less alcohol before bed, and loud snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea that needs a doctor. A Swedish survey also found that women with heavy-snoring partners didn't seem to feel better when they slept in separate bedrooms.
Does sharing a bed help you sleep better?
It may, for some couples. A German sleep-lab study found healthy young couples had about 10% more REM sleep, and less fragmented REM, when they shared a bed. Those couples weren't dealing with snoring, so the picture can change when one partner snores loudly.
When does snoring mean sleep apnea?
When it comes with other signs. The AASM says snoring paired with choking or gasping is a reliable indicator of sleep apnea, and lists daytime fatigue and high blood pressure among the warning signs. Partners often notice these first, so mention them to the snorer and encourage a doctor's visit.
Sources
- A 'sleep divorce' is common among couples
- Is it more than a snore? Recognizing sleep apnea warning signs
- The effect of snoring and obstructive sleep apnea on the sleep quality of bed partners
- Adverse health effects among women living with heavy snorers
- Quality of life in bed partners of patients with obstructive sleep apnea or hypopnea after treatment with continuous positive airway pressure
- Sleeping together: a pilot study of the effects of shared sleeping on adherence to CPAP treatment in obstructive sleep apnea
- Bed-sharing in couples is associated with increased and stabilized REM sleep and sleep-stage synchronization
- Snoring
- Snoring
- The impact of mouth-taping in mouth-breathers with mild obstructive sleep apnea: a preliminary study
About this article
- Research
- 10 published sources, listed above.
- Evidence
- Limited. How we rate it
- Last checked
- October 14, 2026
- Funding
- Paid partner of Titan Recovery. Their ads are labeled.
- Found an error?
- Tell us. We log fixes on the corrections page.
* This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical advice. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or health condition. Talk to a qualified healthcare provider about your health.
